Abuse – just a way of life.

Often when the word abuse is used we tend to think of and restrict it to severe forms of physical or sexual abuse. Certainly, whilst these are forms of abuse, what if they are not the whole of abuse but just part of a spectrum of abuse that can vary in its form, severity and outcome?  Whilst there can be variance or range in the nature of abuse and its subsequent outcomes, from an energetic perspective the energy of abuse is the same no matter the classification – it just comes with different flavours and expressions – in that sense abuse is abuse whether it is deemed mild, moderate or severe, physical, emotional, psychological or sexual.

It’s easy to recognise the obvious forms of abuse – be they sexual, physical, psychological or emotional – which are clearly harming and have detrimental consequences for all concerned. 

We can probably also readily accept that someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs is abusing themselves for one reason or another – as they are clearly poisoning their bodies and in a self-destruct mode.

When we stop that form of abuse we can think that we are now healthy – as I used to do once I gave up drinking alcohol. And of course relatively it seems to be an improvement – but we have to look at other areas of our lives and see if that abuse is now just occurring in different ways.

The form of abuse can change, but it is still abuse

For me, it initially just changed from alcohol to chocolate – although I no longer had all the detrimental effects of excess drinking, in truth I was still abusing myself – just using a different form or flavour. Over the years this has become more refined or subtle as I eliminate various forms of abuse. Once I kicked the chocolate it then moved to other forms of sugar containing foods or salty foods like crisps, as well as the tendency to overeat.

So on one level, I thought I was refining and improving my diet, but on another level I was just feeding myself with different flavours and more refined levels of abuse. I had not truly changed the energy of how I fed myself to be one of love – eating only foods that are truly light, nourishing and needed, at a time that is best for my digestion and without overeating. It was quite a revelation to find that even though I was no longer eating many foods that are harming, having eliminated gluten, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, and most sugar from my diet, that I could still be eating in a way that was clearly abusive! Yikes!

However, this doesn’t just apply to food – but all areas of life – exercise, emotions, relationships to name a few. I used to think nothing of letting loose with any frustration or anger that arose – it was just how I was, or so I thought! I didn’t realise that not only was my own health affected by such outbursts but it was also impacting those around me. We live in a sea of energy – so if I lose my temper it doesn’t just stay with me but impacts the whole sea of energy we live in. As I addressed the reasons for those emotions they have become less frequent and I am more able to feel the harm they do to me and those around me. But also the level of what is considered abusive changes – no longer is it just an angry outburst or loss of temper – but even a change in the tone of the voice can feel and is abusive or even a way of looking at someone!

Exercise can be abusive

We tend to think any form of exercise is good for us so long as we are moving our body, but what if that is not true? What if many forms of exercise are actually harmful or abusive to the body?  

For example, do we consider someone running a marathon or climbing Mount Everest to be abusing themselves? Well, if we consider it carefully, subjecting the body to circumstances which excessively strain the heart and lungs, and which may result in amputation of digits is clearly not an act of self-love. Our bodies are precious and highly sensitive and are actually our guide as to what is abusive and what is not. Some might accept that those more extreme forms of exercise or sport could be abusive but what about a friendly game of golf or tennis – surely those are healthy? Well, whilst the walking in golf is healthy, both of these sports are in fact harming the body and knocking it out of harmony by focusing on one side more than another.  There is bound to be disharmony in any sport where focus is given to one side over another, such are the laws of physics. It is not loving to apply extra force to one part of the body on a regular basis such that muscles are more developed on one side  – it is in fact abusive to the body to treat it in any way that is not loving, gentle, tender, harmonious or caring. Increasingly we hear of physical conditions affecting sports players – e.g. the hips and lower spine for golfers – more evidence that the body has been harmed by the repetitive movements required, but which are in fact abusive to the body.

Just a way of life

What has become increasingly clear to me is that abuse is now just a way of life – it is ‘normal’ on one level, as pretty much everyone is living abusively to some extent and yet it is so completely abnormal when the love we are is known. Indeed, so twisted and upside down is the world, that those who live truly lovingly and who care for their bodies to the max, are actually considered abnormal and freaks because of the degree that they have refined their lifestyle to be one based on what love actually is as an energy and no longer conform to the abusive ways of life that are currently deemed ‘normal’.

It is mind-blowing really when we truly consider and ponder it – an abusive way of life is considered normal and a loving way of life is considered abnormal. Let me just repeat that: an abusive way of life is considered normal and a loving way of life is considered abnormal.

We are made from the energy of love, that is our essence and hence why it is imperative that if we are to have a healthy body and mind and a harmonious life we need to live in a way that is self–loving; where the quality of the choices we make are coming from the love that we are. If we reconnect with the love that we are and feel the absolute purity of that love, it becomes clear that any step away from that love is, in truth, an act of abuse. Any choice we make that is not made with the same quality of love that we are, is abusive and harming and will have consequences for our wellbeing. This might be a hard pill to swallow when its full ramifications are realised, as we can be stuck in the illusion that we are living relatively healthy and harmless lives but when examined energetically we are in fact abusing ourselves and others frequently.

How far removed are we living from our true essence to have this be the way it is in the world today? Given that the quality of our relationships depends on the quality of relationship we have with ourselves – it is perhaps no wonder then that there is so much hate, crime, violence, corruption, terrorism, murder, rape and abuse in all its forms in the world today as we are all living lives of abuse in one way or another.

Every time we over-eat or eat unhealthy food, every time we have an argument, every time we drink alcohol, every time we push our bodies beyond what is truly caring for them, we are contributing to the pool of abuse.  The pool of abuse that ends up feeding the horrors of the world…. A big ouch and hard one to swallow and accept I know – but what if it is true? We cannot live in an interconnected world and think that our choices do not matter. They do. Every single one.

So next time you feel helpless in the face of world atrocities, when you think ‘what can I do?’ in the face of such terror, crime, corruption and abuse – know that you are not helpless and that there is plenty we can all do by addressing and dealing with all the ways we continue to abuse ourselves (and others) be it through food, exercise, emotional dramaramas, relationship issues and all areas of life.

We all have things we can address, we all have ways of living that are less than truly loving – and which are in fact abusive as – to reiterate – anything less than loving is abusive. We live in an interconnected sea of energy and we are either contributing to the pool of abuse or the pool of love with every choice we make.  We are all responsible for the quality of life we have in the world today and we can change it by choosing love, first, middle and last and in between. Just as the butterfly flaps its wings and a hurricane occurs on the other side of the world, so too can an argument, a night of drinking, overeating, or over-exercising contribute to a murder, rape, or act of terror on the other side of the world.

We are not isolated islands but every choice we make feeds into the interconnected sea of energy we live in and so we are all responsible and experience the outcome of our collectively irresponsible abusive ways of living. The good news is – we can change it – by taking responsibility and choosing love, to feed ourselves with love by choosing healthy light food and not overeating, to exercise with love and care of our bodies foremost, to be respectful and decent in all our human interactions, starting with how we treat ourselves.

How about we make it normal to live in a way that is loving and abnormal to live in a way that is abusive? Such a blindingly obvious statement – it should not need to be said – yet we persist in our abusive ways and resist what is actually natural!

So given we are vehicles of energy, consider the possibility that the love we are is so stupendous, so brilliant, so glorious… that the whole of life and creation as we know it is set up to keep us from knowing and living the love that we are…worth considering and perhaps concluding we must be TOTALLY TOTALLY DIVINELY AMAZEBALLS that the whole of creation is working to keep us from knowing who we are!  

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  • Reply
    Sue Armitage
    28th September 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Thank you for your loving share 💕 so relevant to me right now, preparing for esoteric 3 💕

  • Reply
    Joseph Barker
    29th September 2017 at 3:27 am

    We have settled for a life of ‘better than’ but are perplexed when we look around and see the world isn’t matching up. It’s telling us with its war, disasters and disease that something is ill at ease. The way you describe it Eunice makes so much sense – yes, the abuse begins with where we have drawn the line, to define what abuse even is. We have become so estranged from the Love we truly are that like a long forgotten memory – it’s like it doesn’t even exist. Thank you for what you say and waking us up to this.

  • Reply
    Golnaz Shariaztadeh
    29th September 2017 at 7:13 am

    Just because my body looks separate to all others, it is easy to think that what I choose in my private life does not really impact the world. Oh how wrong we are. A great reminder that our seemingly insignificant abusive choices feeds the pool of energy that results in all the abuse in the world (including the ones we consider horrendous). Also a wonderful confirmation that we are not helpless in such cases because through our choices we have the power and the ability to make a difference.

  • Reply
    Anne Malatt
    2nd October 2017 at 5:45 am

    What a wonderful article Eunice! I love the depth of love and care you have brought here and the offering that we have all contributed to the state the world and its people (us) are in, and therefore we all have the power to change it. Thank you!

  • Reply
    Carmel Reid
    28th October 2017 at 1:51 am

    It is great to have all the different forms and degrees of abuse highlighted – as you say, Abuse is Abuse

  • Reply
    #metoo, sexual harassment and saying Yes to being Me – Michelle Sheldrake: Innermost Expressions
    29th October 2017 at 3:28 am

    […] abuse in its many and varied forms, particularly the subtler forms. Indeed, it could be said that abuse has become a way of life, and that we have accepted this. I know I had and I was largely blind to the abuse I was inflicting […]

  • Reply
    30th October 2017 at 12:57 am

    I have been thinking about abuse a lot lately. It weighs heavy. I found your article brought a depth of insight to the subject of abuse that lightened it up considerably. Thank you. Most anyone reading your article, no matter their background or education, would be able to appreciate the spelling out of the different levels of abuse.

    However, I really struggled with the final paragraph – the one in the blue box. I read it and re-read it, trying to comprehend what you meant by it. I assume that in order to make this statement and have it understood by the majority of readers there needs to be an understanding of the word creation, an understanding that creation is not part of the Divine Creation. Not sure many can make that leap. For me, it puts a complicated spin on what is otherwise a simple explanation of how prevalent abuse is in its may layers.

  • Reply
    Abuse in Communication – Carmel Reid
    19th November 2017 at 7:28 am

    […] society that we have come to accept as normal but when we explore it in detail, there is a lot of abuse that we ignore, don’t recognise or don’t know how to deal […]

  • Reply
    Michael Goodhart
    22nd March 2019 at 5:26 am

    Being an incredibly sensitive person my whole life, my tendency was to get into massive reaction to anything that I felt was harsh, rude, cruel, and generally abusive in any way, up to and including wars, government and corporate greed and corruption, etc. But this only lead to incredible exhaustion in my body, and a feeling of helplessness as I felt like there was nothing I could do to stop it, it was all too overwhelming. But what Eunice Minford has described in this blog is the truth that really changed everything for me (work in progress). And that is that all I have to do is make every one of my choices one that is based on love and thus not abuse to the best of my ability, and that ripples out into the pool of energy we live on to then possibly inspire others to do the same. That, in conjunction with not being invested in others changing their abusive patterns, has been a key aspect, and instead I now am working on having more understanding and simply reading their situation that has possibly lead to those abusive choices, holding them with more love in the process.

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