Abuse – just a way of life.

Often when the word abuse is used we tend to think of and restrict it to severe forms of physical or sexual abuse. Certainly, whilst these are forms of abuse, what if they are not the whole of abuse but just part of a spectrum of abuse that can vary in its form, severity and outcome?  Whilst there can be variance or range in the nature of abuse and its subsequent outcomes, from an energetic perspective the energy of abuse is the same no matter the classification – it just comes with different flavours and expressions – in that sense abuse is abuse whether it is deemed mild, moderate or severe, physical, emotional, psychological or sexual.

It’s easy to recognise the obvious forms of abuse – be they sexual, physical, psychological or emotional – which are clearly harming and have detrimental consequences for all concerned. 

We can probably also readily accept that someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs is abusing themselves for one reason or another – as they are clearly poisoning their bodies and in a self-destruct mode.

When we stop that form of abuse we can think that we are now healthy – as I used to do once I gave up drinking alcohol. And of course relatively it seems to be an improvement – but we have to look at other areas of our lives and see if that abuse is now just occurring in different ways.

The form of abuse can change, but it is still abuse

For me, it initially just changed from alcohol to chocolate – although I no longer had all the detrimental effects of excess drinking, in truth I was still abusing myself – just using a different form or flavour. Over the years this has become more refined or subtle as I eliminate various forms of abuse. Once I kicked the chocolate it then moved to other forms of sugar containing foods or salty foods like crisps, as well as the tendency to overeat.

So on one level, I thought I was refining and improving my diet, but on another level I was just feeding myself with different flavours and more refined levels of abuse. I had not truly changed the energy of how I fed myself to be one of love – eating only foods that are truly light, nourishing and needed, at a time that is best for my digestion and without overeating. It was quite a revelation to find that even though I was no longer eating many foods that are harming, having eliminated gluten, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, and most sugar from my diet, that I could still be eating in a way that was clearly abusive! Yikes!

However, this doesn’t just apply to food – but all areas of life – exercise, emotions, relationships to name a few. I used to think nothing of letting loose with any frustration or anger that arose – it was just how I was, or so I thought! I didn’t realise that not only was my own health affected by such outbursts but it was also impacting those around me. We live in a sea of energy – so if I lose my temper it doesn’t just stay with me but impacts the whole sea of energy we live in. As I addressed the reasons for those emotions they have become less frequent and I am more able to feel the harm they do to me and those around me. But also the level of what is considered abusive changes – no longer is it just an angry outburst or loss of temper – but even a change in the tone of the voice can feel and is abusive or even a way of looking at someone!

Exercise can be abusive

We tend to think any form of exercise is good for us so long as we are moving our body, but what if that is not true? What if many forms of exercise are actually harmful or abusive to the body?  

For example, do we consider someone running a marathon or climbing Mount Everest to be abusing themselves? Well, if we consider it carefully, subjecting the body to circumstances which excessively strain the heart and lungs, and which may result in amputation of digits is clearly not an act of self-love. Our bodies are precious and highly sensitive and are actually our guide as to what is abusive and what is not. Some might accept that those more extreme forms of exercise or sport could be abusive but what about a friendly game of golf or tennis – surely those are healthy? Well, whilst the walking in golf is healthy, both of these sports are in fact harming the body and knocking it out of harmony by focusing on one side more than another.  There is bound to be disharmony in any sport where focus is given to one side over another, such are the laws of physics. It is not loving to apply extra force to one part of the body on a regular basis such that muscles are more developed on one side  – it is in fact abusive to the body to treat it in any way that is not loving, gentle, tender, harmonious or caring. Increasingly we hear of physical conditions affecting sports players – e.g. the hips and lower spine for golfers – more evidence that the body has been harmed by the repetitive movements required, but which are in fact abusive to the body.

Just a way of life

What has become increasingly clear to me is that abuse is now just a way of life – it is ‘normal’ on one level, as pretty much everyone is living abusively to some extent and yet it is so completely abnormal when the love we are is known. Indeed, so twisted and upside down is the world, that those who live truly lovingly and who care for their bodies to the max, are actually considered abnormal and freaks because of the degree that they have refined their lifestyle to be one based on what love actually is as an energy and no longer conform to the abusive ways of life that are currently deemed ‘normal’.

We are made from the energy of love, that is our essence and hence why it is imperative that if we are to have a healthy body and mind and a harmonious life we need to live in a way that is self–loving; where the quality of the choices we make are coming from the love that we are. If we reconnect with the love that we are and feel the absolute purity of that love, it becomes clear that any step away from that love is, in truth, an act of abuse. Any choice we make that is not made with the same quality of love that we are, is abusive and harming and will have consequences for our wellbeing. This might be a hard pill to swallow when its full ramifications are realised, as we can be stuck in the illusion that we are living relatively healthy and harmless lives but when examined energetically we are in fact abusing ourselves and others frequently.

How far removed are we living from our true essence to have this be the way it is in the world today? Given that the quality of our relationships depends on the quality of relationship we have with ourselves – it is perhaps no wonder then that there is so much hate, crime, violence, corruption, terrorism, murder, rape and abuse in all its forms in the world today as we are all living lives of abuse in one way or another.

So next time you feel helpless in the face of world atrocities, when you think ‘what can I do?’ in the face of such terror, crime, corruption and abuse – know that you are not helpless and that there is plenty we can all do by addressing and dealing with all the ways we continue to abuse ourselves (and others) be it through food, exercise, emotional dramaramas, relationship issues and all areas of life.

We are not isolated islands but every choice we make feeds into the interconnected sea of energy we live in and so we are all responsible and experience the outcome of our collectively irresponsible abusive ways of living. The good news is – we can change it – by taking responsibility and choosing love, to feed ourselves with love by choosing healthy light food and not overeating, to exercise with love and care of our bodies foremost, to be respectful and decent in all our human interactions, starting with how we treat ourselves.

How about we make it normal to live in a way that is loving and abnormal to live in a way that is abusive? Such a blindingly obvious statement – it should not need to be said – yet we persist in our abusive ways and resist what is actually natural!